How did I get here?

Six years ago, I was a teenage girl. Still living at home, kicking my brothers out of my room, and talking on the phone when I was supposed to be babysitting... I had no real responsibilities, no  stresses and virtually no worries beyond those that a normal 18/19 year old girl deals with.  For example: My parents and their ongoing arguments, my plunging grades, and my brothers "borrowing" cd's without permission.

Today, I'm a wife and mother. 

WOW!

Today, I'm a wife and mother. Yes, I repeated, it's just that surreal. I'm so blessed, incredibly happy, beyond all my dreams and expectations; of course. Still, somedays it's a shock. Everyday it's unbelievable, too good to be true. Earlier, I caught myself staring at this photograph of my husband.

MY husband. This sweet, caring individual, is my HUSBAND! I can't help but gush at the plain and simple image of this man. This photograph does him no justice, because although I feel, it radiates the compassion, affection, trust and love, that make up this gentle man. It's not all of him. No words could ever really define him justly.

I am the luckiest woman alive. He spoils me with all the riches life has to offer, Love, Faith, Hope, Joy, Romance and even Lust. I lust for him as much as I love him. As much as I am IN love with him. I was fourteen years old when we started dating and from day one, it was as if we'd been together forever and we knew we would continue to be together, forever and always, him and I. It was never a matter of "If" we get married, but "When" we get married. He's two years my elder and I was always more mature than a normal girl my age. We spoke of our Holy union as a matter of fact, never a doubt in either of our minds. It scared me to think of sometimes. I was so young and wanted to settle down but seeing the relationship that my own parents had and the various problems they encountered made me fear commitment. I knew anyway, I was crazy wanting to settle down at sixteen. We continued dating even broke up twice, and in the end it all worked out. We married when I was nineteen.

Now, as I sit here online, browsing through the pictures he's posted most recently, I wish I had him near me. I miss him so much, I feel this intense sadness when we're apart. I don't like having to see my husband through pictures and webcam's, I hate not being able to hold him late at night and tell him I love him in person. I always made it a point to tell him I loved him before we went to bed, that's no longer an option. It pains me to have to miss him but I realized today, at least I have someone to miss. I have someone who misses me. I have love across thousands of miles and I feel it pulse through me when he says those words I so long to hear. "I love you!"

Peace. Love. Sanity