Fall seven times, stand up eight.

I like to think that I'm entering a new chapter in my life. One where I flourish and grow as a woman, as well as reconnect with myself as a youth. Of course I'll never get those years back and I don't care to. The dreams and aspirations that girl had however, is a different story. I still hope to someday accomplish what I one day hoped to be.

This new part of my life, is a fresh start. I cherish my past and don't regret the decisions that have brought me to where I am. Every wrong turn was a lesson learned. Today as I was cleaning out my email inbox from the email that I've had since 02, I stumbled upon a note I wrote to myself. One I don't even recall writing. It reads as follows:

"Jeanette,

Be proud, for today is a new day, your past is walking away from you as we speak.... boarding a plane to Guadalajara, Mexico. He said he'd return in a year or so, but by then it won't matter anymore. He will be just a simple memory faded with time, there is clairevoyance now, in your future your thoughts are clear, you can accomplish anything.... you survived yesterday, you can handle anything today!!! 

~Much love~
Your Inner Strength
Yourself, Your Bestfriend, You"

Written April 19 of 2004

It was referring to an abusive ex that I had finally managed to break free of. A person that left me hurt, confused and broken. Since then my self esteem has been low. Of course it's affected my decisions in all I do. From marriage to parenting, work to school, I question my abilities. Thankfully, my husband is a sweet, gentle and caring man, who does his best to boost my self esteem.

Today, I am happy to say, I am a much more confidant person than I have ever been. I owe it not only to my husband, but my kids and the many friends I have been blessed with. Of course there's still those people who think they're better than me and in all honesty, they might just be. Or could've been, if not for their self righteousness, false sense of superiority and arrogance.

I pride myself in being a kind, loving and loyal friend. One that won't put you down when you're feeling tattered or torn. I won't sting you with sarcasm when you need support and sensitivity.

*Moral*

No one has the right to treat you like dirt. If there's someone you know that says hurtful things to you, no matter how sarcastic or subliminal. Remove them from your life. The drama that may ensue is nothing, compared to the feeling of relief you get from being able to say or do something without fear of judgement.

Love. Peace. Sanity